Happy birthday precious Princess

This time many years ago I was sleeping on a sofa carrying the most precious gift
When I started to go into labor at six eighteen
I wake up panicked I was losing the most precious gift I ever had
As I looked to your dad asleep in his chair and heard “you’re in labor go back to sleep.”

I know I should have but I wanted fun before you was born
I canceled my appointments and even the tickets to see STARWARS
daddy was not impressed you chose that day to come and say hi
But nothing could be done

Your dad and I took a bus ride to Worcester when I walked the city for hours
and went shopping until I couldn’t take it anymore !245 Monday 23rd May 2005
I was in hospital by you made me suffer but with the few sparse swear words
and threats to your dad that I would ring his neck but no pain relief was given

I listened to my body and entered a state of meditation which governed the pain
and created a shock and awe within the nurses who said I was the first to do it
Silence other than the doctor’s murmurs, you wasn’t breathing my heart sank
But ten minutes later your nan held her granddaughter in her arms
As the medics worked to patch me up I focussed on my precious innocent bundle of joy

Never did I know the joys of having children could bring
Combined with the solitude I spent every moment together
shared our laughs and tears, smiles your first word and steps
The first bow and arrow and because your cot was in the front room
your first response to Frankenstein’s monster now that was funny to see

From gastric reflux through to chicken pox
colic through to the wind even the heart murmur
and deafness made your younger moments unique
your first abba, and mama through to the steps in the snow
those were moments that lit my heart the most joyous occasion for me

I was a proud mother when you started nursery
taking the little steps to independence as I stood and watched you grow
We fought the battles life threw at us like a pro wrestling team
you learned that not all good was coming our way but you never went without
Every day was unique and special in its own way just like you
my precious princess, my angel on high

Today is your twelfth birthday a day we have been robbed
a child who was stolen by the state
or so many have stated I refuse to be a breeder for the elite
you were taken at a tender age seven years they wanted you to in care
Full of confidence and angelic charm, and that awesome free spirit
that is still there hidden from view

21st December 2012 was the date I remember it well
Daddy and I said in court and agreed on guardians
A few days off the special day to many who believe
in the prophecies and tales of the Dogon and Mayan people

They said mommy couldn’t cope and told stupid lies
All because I did not fit the expected norm I will always be your mom
Today would be your birthday and I can not be there
Robbed of the most precious moments in your pre-teen world
The day you turn into a young lady my heart breaks in two

Shatters to the floor like shattered sparkly glass
you ask when we speak of why no one believes the sacrifice is here
it is happening every day in the big wide world
And I tell you they are blind to the ills of the world

Star chamber like secret courts and military style maneuvers
Victims told that the multi team meeting would help and confusing the facts
Social services make many mistakes but the law is on their side
and besides, if it was not for officials saying I did not have HUMAN RIGHTS
Due to me being mentally ill and they was a law to themselves

I even found the government papers and was told that SS have no rules
Then you, my angel, my precious little lady mommy’s princess would be right by my side
But the truth is simple unless the propaganda brainwashing machine
tells them what to believe many shut off without  questioning  the truth
The powers that are in charge dark forces are at work and I kept you safe
You are with nanny and grandad’s house safe for a time

Although I can’t be with you at this time my decision that day was right
upon that day as you lay in the bed dreaming of losing me
I saw the toll  it was taking on my little one and the sacrifice
had to be made it was either nanny or care and a wing and a prayer
that the courts saw it our way and grandad used his connections
Through the police and Rotarian friends to help with the judge’s decision
and kept you safe from untold harm and horrors you would have suffered in care

Although many years later I can see now what I could not before
the boys club ridiculing people they did not even know someone
they had not met and my family acting like it is normal
it is your birthday and we know who to blame the world is full of darkness
for that we have seen the pain and sorrow hidden from view
A child in need is abuse and hurting not one to feel free

You had a happy home and one you want to return to
but their threat over our heads and pain deep in our soul
Today you turn into a beautiful young lady

Happy Birthday.

 

**** As a victim of childhood emotional and sexual abuse I can say that this is not writen to defend any one who is guilty of Abuse such wonderful and precious gifts as the young innocent children.     All forms of Abuse i wrong .

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